Riding in Silence
- Mary
- Jul 14, 2017
- 3 min read
One day, after going through something that was traumatic... okay, it was a breakup (dang)! lol
After it happened, I remember getting on the highway to head home. I still had tears in my eyes and each time I would try to stop, more would come. I got to the point where all I heard was myself. Even though the radio was on, I just heard this whaling sounds of sadness. As I calmed down, the music began to bother me. I didn’t want to hear the radio AT ALL! I turned everything off! Anyone who knows me, knows that when I drive out of town, I HAVE to have music, but this time, it was the opposite. After I turned the radio off, I could hear my thoughts. So many thoughts… Without the radio on, I begin to just Drive in Silence.
This gave me time to hear my thoughts better, to hear them clearly… & honestly, I begin to have a conversation in my head with myself. Does that make me crazy? I don’t know… but y’all.. this is a no judging zone! Lol I know they say if you talk out loud and answer yourself, then you’re crazy, they never said anything about doing it in your head! Y’all gotta know how to work the system! Keep up! 😊
I never said anything, it was literally just silence in the car. In my mind, was the conversation of what just happened! I made this list of questions to try to figure it out. “What just really happened? Did he really say that? Did I really do that? How can he say that? How did we get here? What the f!@# is going on? Should I turn around and go kick is a$$?” I mean, the list goes on! I got to a point where I didn’t have any more questions, and almost like a type writer, the thoughts just slid over, and the answers started flowing. “Well, what had happened was… Yes, he said that, but you can’t be mad. Yes, you really did that, but I’m sure he understands. We got here because of XYZ. Yes, turn around now and kick his a$$!” It’s like this drive was giving me all of the answers that I needed right then in order to find peace and contentment, and that’s exactly what happened.
When I got to the bottom of list of questions and answers, I was overcome with a sense of peace that I had never felt before. Driving in silence, questions answered, thoughts gone, just on the road. Driving has always been therapeutic for me, but this drive was deeper than any other before. It was everything that I needed right then. As I continued to drive, I was so light! LOL! Seriously, sis! I felt like everything was going to be okay… I am here to tell you, that this peace is great! It was like an Oprah Winfrey moment of “Aha” where your light bulb goes off! I was like this is how that feels?! Okay, I can do this! This is what it’s like to not have any thoughts?! I don’t do that y’all! My mind is on 1,000 ALL DAY! I have what they call “over think too darn much”. It was new for me to not think about anything at all. Since that day, I have craved to have more moments like that. So now, even if it’s only the 5 minutes it takes for me to pick up the kids from summer camp, I use those moments to find that peace. I will make a quick list of what’s bothering me the most. I will sit and reflect on them and then leave it. The rest of the time I am free of thoughts and noise, and I’m just there enjoying it! I encourage you, find you a few moments today to do the same. You may ask yourself: How was your day today? Did you accomplish what you needed to accomplish? Who pissed you off? Who did you piss off? What can you do to be better tomorrow? Answer those questions and then just enjoy having a clear mind for a moment. You can use this to meditate or even talk with God through prayer. Whichever way you decide to use the moments, use them, but take that time to yourself just ONCE, and I promise you will want to do it every day. Now if driving isn’t your thing, find your thing! In what areas are you most at peace? Add these moments to that time to appreciate them more. Maybe it’s cooking, maybe it’s coloring, whatever, just take those moments, you won’t regret it!
Xo - Mary
Comentários