The hardest part...

*Disclaimer : this is an extended post, longer than the usual

I came across this post on Instrgram one day... yea you can say I get a good bit of inspiration from social media... what can I say, these are surely places that can and will get you "in your feelins" *rolls eyes* every now and then... So the post asked the question, "what is the hardst part of a break up: letting go, moving on, or starting over?" At that time, I didn't sit on that post long. It seemed like a good question but it didn't REALLY interest me because I was - in my mind - already in a GOOD relationship and it was going along just fine! He and I were just VERY good friends who happened to unexpectedly love each other more than we intended... lol. See, he was something new for me... I had gone through some things and besides this "shouldn't be named person", he was the one to know the real me! Well, I told myself I just wanted to have fun with it. And to him, he figured this was his time to smash this girl he met out on a run and not really looking to meet anyone. Surely neither of us thought we would be bigger to each other with feelings involved. Deep feelings that sometimes felt one sided... BUT... maybe that's why I'm on this post RN...

It wasn't until a week or so after that post, driving home with tears in my eyes that I realized that letting go would indeed be THE hardest part. See, if I could just let go, moving on wouldn't be that hard. Starting over is going to suck but hey, I'm a people person (kinda, not really tho.. :-/ ) lol. If I could just remove all of the feelings that I've grown over the course of our SHITuationship, I would be fine! See to me, in order to let it go, you have to be in a head space that can say, "This is it. It's nothing left to fight for and this chapter is done". It can be VERY hard to get to that space, but it can and shall be done! Now, let me say this, truthfully, as of this post, I have NOT let it go... honestly, I'm waiting to hear from him now *insert whinning emoji* but I have taken the first step in knowing that this is looking like something I will have to let go. And you know what's CRAZY, when I think about letting go, I get so sad and so upset, but the only one I want to talk to is him. But sis! I tell you what! There are other ways we can go about letting it go.. and I'm going to share them because I need them just as much (if not more) than you!

Step 1 - Knowing why you need to let go

Before letting go, we have to determine why! Asking questions like " What lead me here?" "What went wrong" "What will happen if I dont't let go?" Some people hold on to situtions for their reasons. Sometimes it's to save face, not wanting others to talk bad about them. Sometimes it's because the siutaion is very familiar and comfortable. Moving out of your comfort zone can be intimidating sometimes, but staying in a situatuon you need to let go of can only give a temporary comfort.

Step 2 - Accpet the why, & move on

Once we are secure in our why, we have to accept it and move on. This may be a challenge as well but it is yet another step that we must take in order to move on. See, this is the first step in some AA groups, but putting it second gives us the ability to know why we have to accept it. The "why" factors are reminders that can aid in this step.

Step 3 - Apologize and forgive

An apology is something that should be heart felt, filled with sincerity. Sometimes we forget that we need to apologize and forgive ourselves. During this phase we may be tempted to continue to hold on to some hurt or resentment. But forgiveness is the best thing to do. The longer we hold on to things, the longer it will take to heal the wound. Forgiveness is something that we must do for ourselves, even when it comes to forgiving others. Forgiveness is a way of protecting our peace, our sanity, and our emotional balance.

Step - 4 - Regain focus

Once we have truly mastered the forgiveness, next would be to regain our focus. Focus that on the things that make us happy, things that make us feel good, things that can keep us distracted and focusing on and recieving on positive vibes. By not laying down in our ties to letting go, we can focus on things that are good for us. The best thing would be to focus on the things that we can actually have an effect :/ on... Things that are actually in control over. Shiit... I might need to start making wigs or sum, give my hands some to do instead of over working my mind.

Step 5 - Do it all over again...

We are human AF right?! We make the same mistakes over and over right?! - Let's not lie to ourselves here... we have all went back to that ni66a or to that b!tc# that we said we wouldn't... or did some shit we said we would stop be didn't?! - (i probably got too real right then). But hey, we human, we will probably have to go through this process wayy more than once. But I think with time, it will all get easier. Even the letting go process will get easier with time too... Hoping we don't have to repeat this many times, but, we'll be in this togeter.

Honestly,

MARY

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I got inspiration for this post by doing some research on myself. I ran across this site: HERE .He puts it in a certain way that I could get